So, first I wanted to start off by saying thank you to dumbie420 who reached out and was open enough to explain his history with drugs and his current addiction to Diphenhydramine
The idea of taking something to alter your mind is intriguing, which catches my eye. However, the loss of mental and physical mobility is a fear of mine, that could ultimately lead to a bad and unproductive trip. Not to include my health being in such a downward spiral. I can’t experience recreational/medical drug use without be wary of my bad health and ultimately a high rate of having something catastrophic happening. So, I made a post to find those who use, abuse, addicted to drugs. I am not one to judge but aim to explore the history of each persons use, and understand from them the reason why someone may actively use, abuse, can't escape their drug of choice.
Diphenhydramine abuse, or a.k.a. simply taking a lot of Benadryl till the hat man comes, has been a unique, dangerous and bizarre trend and drug of choice, when I think of a daily drug user choosing this as their preferred chemical. Stories of abnormal happenings, entities and insects appearing and disappearing, is not a drug that I can understand the interest to actively pursue. I reached out to people specifically dealing with this and met a very nice man, who is dealing with rampant and daily drug use of DPH. I did not edit or correct any errors in answers, The only changes were (censored) if he mentioned private information
The Interview
Satan Press: I’d say the first questions would be is how old are you? And how long have you been taking either Benadryl or other DPH products?
dumbie420: My age is 23, and I've been taking specifically nighttime sleep aid (25mgs DPH pills) that I shoplift from the dollar tree for about 8-9months total.
Sometimes I also do 50mg pills of Dramamine to make up for not having a big enough dose of DPH
Satan Press: Okay, you’ve been stealing from dollar tree for 8-9 months or you’ve been taking nighttime sleep aid for 8-9 month? Is this sorta more of a routine you have, or do you believe it has built go more to an addictive grasp?
dumbie420: Yeah about 8-9 months now, I started actually purchasing it recently but for most the time I'd just walk out with it ☠️
It started as a routine, I'd go through my week, and on specific days I'd dose -Monday, Thursday, Saturday- every dose was 700+mgs. Now I'm scared it'll kill me and only do 500-600mg doses. But after a while it went from that routine to constantly thinking about how at the end of the day I would get to do DPH and literally I just started doing it everyday or ever other day for maybe 3-4 months straight. One night I did 1.4g and then the next night 1.6g and after that I started getting chest pains (literally have them rn lol) And decided to only do small doses of 5-600mgs. But I still think about it all day every day, it's definitely an addictive grasp it has on me 😞
Satan Press: that’s definitely a bit and some connection to the drug, what was the reasoning you had to try DPH as a drug to trip on?
dumbie420: I first decided to try it because my ex hadbroken up with me recently and I was in a lot of emotional pain. So I decided I wanted to try something that would allow me to face my demons in as face to face a way as possible, and DPH sounded like that thing from all the trip reports I read. Little did I know the only demon it would make me face head on was addiction
I actually came off a DXM addiction straight into DPH
Satan Press: What is DXM? Sorry I’m an outsider looking in… and the DPH the first time you decided to try it, did it give you the result you were looking for?
dumbie420: You’re all good, I'm open to answering any and everything!
DXM is short for dextromethorphan, it's a dissociate that you can get In Delsym cough syrup (grape is better tasting LOL) or in specific pills, it's all OTC and WAY too accessible. Also mostly stole all of this, one time I did walk out of a dollar tree with maybe 40 bottles of DXM pills shaking like maracas in my pockets 😂 I know I'm a bit of a scumbag for all of it tbh, I try and not to do that anymore tho.
And no, I did NOT get the result I was looking for. In fact, the reason I continued to take DPH was because I didn't understand the trip AT ALL. Every single time I was just confused about what happened to me the night before. Like I could remember it, and would think about it A LOT, but I NEVER got the results I thought I would, or wanted. Which is actually why I kept using it, just to try and get the feelings, hallucinations or whatever I thought I was supposed to get from it. The trips were never quite how I imagined they were supposed to be, and so I just kept taking it to try and get a "proper" trip out of it, but I learned eventually I was getting a proper trip everytime, and just didn't understand the experience well enough until I had tried it to the point of addiction.
It's really common to hear people say take DXM instead of DPH but my dumbass just mixed them for a while, I only stopped mixing them cause I FRIED my brain with how much DXM I took
Satan Press: Awesome! And appreciate it. DXM so is it the drug in lean or similar to lean? As I read cough syrup…So you were having trips but your mind was more hoping to see something akin to acid? Are you functioning at all during these times you’re taking high doses of DPH?
dumbie420: No DXM is different from Lean. Lean is an opioid (comethazine and promethazine if I remember right) and I've only barely dabbled in opioids. I try to avoid those as I know id get addicted really fast. There are 3 different hallucinogen classes -Psychedelics like acid and mushrooms, Dissociates which is where DXM Ketamine and PCP live, then Deliriants such as DPH DMH and Datura - the safety profiles essentially go from take as much as you possibly want with psychedelics, to be careful and be very aware of how much you take with dissociatives, to deliriants which I genuinely advocate for every living person to avoid and never take because they WILL kill you. (I hope my explanations made sense there but I can clear up if not!)
I wasn't really hoping to see something akin to acid (ive done acid around 30 times in my life and it's my Number 1 favorite, DPH is my number 2 favorite) but i was hoping to see someone walk into my bedroom that wasn't there, or to see a giant spider crawl out of my wall, or to smoke a joint/cigarette that didn't actually exist, or to text/use my phone only to realize it wasn't even in my hand. And, well, I did have ALL of those hallucinations, but they were NEVER how I imagined them to be, and I think I wanted them to be more real, more in my face, but instead they were all *mostly* internal hallucinations. Or like the spiders I was hoping would be really creepy and crawly with black or brown colors, but they have always been mostly clear colored friendly guys that just walk a few feet then disappear (one time did see a spider maybe about 4 feet wide but he left super quick). I only saw Black and brown spiders (all of them about 6-8inches across) that were fucking running at me out of my closet when I took the 1.6g dose. All of the spiders were external hallucinations. But things like smoking joints with friends, seeing actual people, that was 99% of the time internal. I would be having a jolly good time with my friends hanging out, literally gain a new found respect for them, then turn my head and the whole world melts away and I just realize I'm in my room alone... Really honestly makes me lonely thinking about 😮💨. The only time I externally saw "real" looking people was on my last trip of 650mgs (2days ago) and I walked into my room and saw 3 of my mates sitting around vibing and smoking weed, so I walked back out to get them some food, and when I came back they were gone... And I was just holding a bag of chips hella confused. Then later that trip I went to the bathroom, and the door was closed so when I opened it I saw and heard a complete stranger on the toilet, so I shut the door and apologized, only to realize I was home alone 😂. This one time, I was dabbing (THC extract if you're unfamiliar) and I thought the torch I was using was my bong, so I put my lip on the red hot torch tip instead of my bong and I still have a scar from that lol. This one time I had a trip where I started hallucinating that I was playing an entire game of chess on my phone, everything looked straight up REAL ASF and I was about to make my winning move, and thats when my phone and the chess game melted out of my hand and vision and I realized I was never playing chess in the first place! I actually still get kind of butthurt about that cause it was such a difficult game and I was like 2 moves away from winning lol
And I'm only partially functioning on high doses, a lot of the time I will get SUPER sedated and sleepy, but because I'm hallucinating stuff I will think I have to go do stuff, so I'll just be completing absolute nonsense tasks that don't make any sense at all (example getting in a fight with the store clerk because he forgot to issue me my driver's licence). Usually just ends up as me sitting in the same chair, facing the same direction, just going through waves of euphoria and internal hallucinations and restless leg syndrome with random trips to the bathroom, or switching to sit on my floor.
Satan Press: that is very detailed and very precise, I think I get the hallucinations you're explaining. What is the mindset on it now? I know you stated you had a break up and kinda wanted to go numb or turn your brain off from the feelings, but what is the feeling now, when you take them?
dumbie420: I apologize my man, I'll be honest I took 500mgs of DPH a lil bit ago and is getting hard to think an reply, is it ok if I keep messaging tomorrow?
I'm sorry I thoug I coul keep replying but it's hottimg hard
Sam: No worries man let’s continue the talk as we can as I work too just can get to the questions and answer when we can
TOMORROW
Satan Press: How are you parents with this? do they know? Is there any support to help you get off... or?
dumbie420: I’m back, sorry I legit just slept all day cause the hangover from DPH just makes you feel Soo out of it and not wanna do ANYTHING.
No my parents don't know about my addiction, they would definitely want to help me stop using dph but I'm Soo embarrassed about how I use it that I don't tell them or many other people about it. I think maybe 2 people I know irl know I use DPH but they think I quit a while ago... But I didn't lol. Legit just a bunch of strangers on the internet know but not anyone close to me
There is massive support available to help me get off it, but I'm honestly just too embarrassed to accept any of it. That's one reason I like reddit, is because you can stay anonymous and still get some help
Satan Press: Understandable and are you living on your own? Or how does someone taking a drug with this type of high/effect and not be caught by your parents?
dumbie420: Right now I'm living with family, I rotate between my Mom's/stepdad, my Dad/stepmom, and grandparents house so that I can help them all with life stuff and make sure they're taken care of, but honest to God I have NO idea how none of them have found out i take Benadryl. It probably helps that I trip at night, And I don't talk loud enough for anyone to hear what I'm saying while I trip (I think 😂) but other than that I think Ive just been really lucky that no one has found out 😂
Satan Press: I’d say so, very shocked as well with how often you said you trip… how often do you hallucinate when you take DPH vs just passing out? Are you hallucinating everytime?
dumbie420: I hallucinate pretty much every time. In the beggining I think there were a few times I just passed out after an hour or two, but now I plan it so that I will be awake for the full trip. Usually eat the pills at like 730-8pm then the high starts between 830-9 and last about 6hours. So Ive just learned how to plan my days so I can stay up really late when I need. If I really need sometimes Ill drink a reign energy drink to stay awake for the trip. I also always take Kratom which helps keep me awake
Satan Press: damn, you got it down to a formula! What are some I guess, top 3 hallucinations you've had or trips?
dumbie420: Ohh good question, that's something I've never even thought of.... Number 1 has to be the time I confused my torch with my bong and burned my lip on the torch tip 😂 I still think about that one a lot even tho it's been a while
Number 2 is probably the first time I saw the hatman, he just kinda popped up from behind my clothes dresser, waved at me, so I waved back and he disappeared. That was really cool to meet him for the first time, now I see him every single time I trip and he is always super friendly. I have heard other people have bad experiences with him, but me and him are real good bros 😂
Number 3 is the time I played a full game of chess, up until about 2 moves from finishing the game, before it just melted and disappeared. The whole board was Soo clear and my next moves made Soo much sense, but then it all just vanished 😭 still kinda sad about that lol. I had an acid trip 2 days prior to that where I basically just played chess for the last 6hours of the trip, and it literally sparked a new passion in me for chess. I think that's why I hallucinated that chess game on DPH, cause it hasn't happened since then unfortunately.
Satan Press: The bong bit would’ve freaked me out, I smoke a bit now and I get ocd paranoia from random shit, but to believe that what you’re doing is happening only to find in reality its not, that would freak me out! The hatman, what are your thoughts on that? Do you think it’s a real being that awaits all, subconsciously or do you think it’s there cause it’s tied from stories of DPH trips?
dumbie420: Tbh I think the hat man is just there because of all the delirant lore talking about him, I don't imagine I ever would have met him if I never heard stories about him. I think everyone's perception of him when they see him affects their interaction with him as well. For instance if you're like me and youre just tryna chill then the hatman will chill with ya. But if you see him and you're afraid of him, then he will give you reasons to be afraid 😂
Tbh I refused to use that same torch for about a week after I burnt myself with it, shit left a good mark too, I wish I had gotten a picture lol
Satan Press: That’s kinda what I thought about the Hatman lore, as for DPH what has your routine be like for a night /day you plan to take the drugs?
END
So, this was the first person to contact me to talk about his experience and like he states, he thought it was a cool idea to speak with me about a drug he believes should not be touched. I enjoyed speaking with dumbie420 about his use and experience with it, coming from a negative mindset towards the drug and not praising it, made the conversation that much more interesting.
This was the last message I got from him and its been72 hours since this response. I hope it was more boredom and slow response of myself that got him not responding, as I hope its not something less..